I was going through some paperwork for T's preschool when I came across a form that had me scratching my head.
The school (his preschool is part of a Catholic elementary school) is planning a special celebration honoring the students' grandparents, so they sent home a form requesting the names and mailing addresses for them, regardless of how far away they live (paraphrasing here, but "so we can consider ways to virtually participate").
Okay, maybe I've been reading too much DWILs, but my immediate reaction was, "No 3#$%ing way!" Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with involving T's grandparents in some sort of Grandparents Day celebration (depending on what it is), but why should I provide T's school with contact information when they haven't yet decided what they're going to do with it? And shouldn't it be my decision as T's parent, and not the school's, as how his extended family is involved?
To put it another way: let's say some software company approaches you about a new application. You fill out some forms, disclosing your personal medical information, and when the application is built, they'll contact you. You'd tell them where to go stick it, wouldn't you? Exactly my point.
Well, as long as Hurricane Earl doesn't make landfall in CT on Friday, I'll have the opportunity to ask about what these plans are. If they're worthy, I'll share. If not, I might mention something in passing, but just to be safe, figure that it's nothing newsworthy.
4 comments:
A ha - you realized why in your post, but you don't know it yet. He's going to a Catholic school. They're going to stress family values and that includes incorporating the extended family into as many events as possible. While I see your point, different rules apply when you're enrolled in a private school. Would a public school do that? No. They'd have the kids draw a card and send it home in hopes that the parents would send it along. However, the private schools do more and involve themselves more into the private lives of their students.
Case in point - Joe's Aunt/Uncle John and Anita send their kids to a Catholic school. I see a lot of their activities and such, which is great. But I - as extended family - get hit up from time to time to donate or purchase things for their fundraisers. More so than I do for those with kids at the public schools. More so than I do for my own child in a public school.
Different rules apply. And you're going to have to get used to it. By choosing a Catholic school, you've chosen to let them into your life and they're going to have difficulty understanding why you wouldn't want the grandparents involved. Shows a distinct resistance to family values/togetherness in their eyes. They're going to want them to come to the events, too. And to support the fundraising. And to be participatory in his family life and studies.
Ask around to those who have kids in the older grades at the schools. What sort of things did they do last year with that information? Is the school gathering data to make a pitch to expand their IT capabilities to include net meetings? Do they have a webcast capability now? Do you also have to sign a release for Jack to participate in that? What about a release for his photos to be used by the school? Or was that part of the registration package?
Beware - now that he's in school, you're going to lose a lot of the control you're used to having in his life. His language, his clothes, his friends, his food choices, and how involved in his life the school becomes.
Take a deep breath. This is the real reason moms cry when their babies go to school. This is where the struggle lies. You've got to begin to let go and let him go. And that includes letting the school in...
A ha - you realized why in your post, but you don't know it yet. He's going to a Catholic school. They're going to stress family values and that includes incorporating the extended family into as many events as possible. While I see your point, different rules apply when you're enrolled in a private school. Would a public school do that? No. They'd have the kids draw a card and send it home in hopes that the parents would send it along. However, the private schools do more and involve themselves more into the private lives of their students.
Case in point - Joe's Aunt/Uncle John and Anita send their kids to a Catholic school. I see a lot of their activities and such, which is great. But I - as extended family - get hit up from time to time to donate or purchase things for their fundraisers. More so than I do for those with kids at the public schools. More so than I do for my own child in a public school.
Different rules apply. And you're going to have to get used to it. By choosing a Catholic school, you've chosen to let them into your life and they're going to have difficulty understanding why you wouldn't want the grandparents involved. Shows a distinct resistance to family values/togetherness in their eyes. They're going to want them to come to the events, too. And to support the fundraising. And to be participatory in his family life and studies.
Ask around to those who have kids in the older grades at the schools. What sort of things did they do last year with that information? Is the school gathering data to make a pitch to expand their IT capabilities to include net meetings? Do they have a webcast capability now? Do you also have to sign a release for Jack to participate in that? What about a release for his photos to be used by the school? Or was that part of the registration package?
Beware - now that he's in school, you're going to lose a lot of the control you're used to having in his life. His language, his clothes, his friends, his food choices, and how involved in his life the school becomes.
Take a deep breath. This is the real reason moms cry when their babies go to school. This is where the struggle lies. You've got to begin to let go and let him go. And that includes letting the school in...
A ha - you realized why in your post, but you don't know it yet. He's going to a Catholic school. They're going to stress family values and that includes incorporating the extended family into as many events as possible. While I see your point, different rules apply when you're enrolled in a private school. Would a public school do that? No. They'd have the kids draw a card and send it home in hopes that the parents would send it along. However, the private schools do more and involve themselves more into the private lives of their students.
Case in point - Joe's Aunt/Uncle John and Anita send their kids to a Catholic school. I see a lot of their activities and such, which is great. But I - as extended family - get hit up from time to time to donate or purchase things for their fundraisers. More so than I do for those with kids at the public schools. More so than I do for my own child in a public school.
Different rules apply. And you're going to have to get used to it. By choosing a Catholic school, you've chosen to let them into your life and they're going to have difficulty understanding why you wouldn't want the grandparents involved. Shows a distinct resistance to family values/togetherness in their eyes. They're going to want them to come to the events, too. And to support the fundraising. And to be participatory in his family life and studies.
Ask around to those who have kids in the older grades at the schools. What sort of things did they do last year with that information? Is the school gathering data to make a pitch to expand their IT capabilities to include net meetings? Do they have a webcast capability now? Do you also have to sign a release for Jack to participate in that? What about a release for his photos to be used by the school? Or was that part of the registration package?
Beware - now that he's in school, you're going to lose a lot of the control you're used to having in his life. His language, his clothes, his friends, his food choices, and how involved in his life the school becomes.
Take a deep breath. This is the real reason moms cry when their babies go to school. This is where the struggle lies. You've got to begin to let go and let him go. And that includes letting the school in...
'Cause three times's the charm ;)
This is the same preschool that J went to, but Sister Anne Marie was principal then. The new principal is a layperson, and she's been going like gangbusters to change things. I very much like their PreK program, which is why T is there. Interestingly, the vast majority of preschools in my town are church-based (two are Catholic; the rest are Christian-based).
True, there are more fundraisers (to defray the $185 PreK assessment) than at J's public school, but I knew that going in, and I'm okay with that. And the only people I'll hit up to buy stuff are the grandparents (AH HA! you shout. HYPOCRITE! TAKE THEIR MONEY BUT DON'T LET THEM PARTICIPATE! Yeah, yeah, I know...)
But as for Grandparents Day, this is the first year they've done this. They didn't do it when J was in PreK, and they didn't do it last year.
Today was T's PreK orientation, so I asked his teacher if she knew what was planned. She said that they're still working on it. I explained that I am not comfortable sharing info if I don't know how it will be used, and she was fine with it. (my neighbor, whose daughter is in fourth grade there, feels the same way)
I looked at a few preschools when J went, but I chose St. C's because (a) it's very close to our house, (b) I really like the teacher and her approach to preschool, (c) I like their gentle introduction to the Catholic faith. We shall see how things for T are different from when J attended. Will be interesting.
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