Stupid Twilight Gripes

With all of the renewed Twilight hubbub (and having seen Eclipse earlier in the week), I've rewatched Twilight and started thinking about stupid things that bother me about the series (WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS):

• One of the main conflicts of the series is the Bella/Jacob/Edward triangle.  In New Moon, we learn that Jacob is a shape shifting wolf and that the wolves imprint on their soul mates.  So hypothetically, if Bella chose Jacob, who does not imprint on her, will he eventually imprint on someone else?  Does each wolf only imprint on one person?  If that person on whom a wolf is supposed to imprint is never born, will s/he imprint on someone else?
• Is it me, or is it intentional that Bill Hader's character in Adventureland supposed to look like a caricature of Charlie Swan?
• How can Jasper be the newest vampire in the Cullen clan?  He was a confederate soldier, and the Civil War took place in the 1860s.  Shouldn't Edward be the newest, since he was a victim of the Spanish (1918) influenza? 

That's all I can think of for now.  I'm sure there are more, but those are the ones that are fresh in my mind.