Saturday, September 20, 2008

Where Did I Go Wrong?

I know, it sounds so melodramatic. What can I say, I'm 25 weeks pregnant, everything is melodramatic.

I am at a loss as to how to discipline J. He just does not want to listen to me. Time outs don't stop the behavior, and neither does taking things away (TV time, "special" trips). Three days ago I went back to a reward chart and within two days it was failing miserably. I just don't know what to do to motivate this kid. And then, today, he drew a letter E on my car with a rock. I am so upset. Yeah I'm pissed that he scratched up my not even two-month-old car, but what really stings is that he did something so disrespectful, and so blatantly wrong. It really hurts, and I wonder where I fell short.

Does he just not care enough about the things I take away? (it's possible) Am I not consistent enough? (probably not, if it's not working) Do I not spend enough one-on-one time with him? (most likely not, as I'm still exhausted and need to nap when T does on most days) It's like a looped tape recorder that's been running through my head all day and I just can't make it stop.

I love J more than he can comprehend, and I feel like I'm the one who screwed up here. I just don't know what to do next. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? What if I'm not? Then what?

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