Tuesday, April 27, 2010

No Wonder!

It just occurred to me today (yeah, I know) why I've been such a raving bitch for the past five years.  Please allow me to enumerate:
  • When J was a baby, my MIL used to come over once a week.  She would arrive at noon, stretch out with a book on my couch when J would go down for a nap ("Oh, why don't you go lay down and take a nap, too?"), and stay until 8:00pm.  Every fucking week until I flipped my shit.  Seriously.
  • About six months after weaning J, I got pregnant with T.  See above.  MIL continued her weekly "pretend to be mommy" visits until J transitioned from the crib into a toddler bed and started MDO.
  • When J was two and a half, T joined us.  I then took care of two little boys by myself all day, with little opportunity for a break.  J went to preschool at age three, but that was for a total of five hours a week.
  • At this time, I seem to recall visiting the ILs with some regularity.  I don't dislike them at all, but their house is not baby-friendly, and they are selfish in the sense that they don't think about how their environment affects other people, specifically their grandchildren.  So I would spend each visit trailing after the boys, making sure they didn't break anything while the Hubster and his parents would have a nice leisurely visit.
  • Right after weaning T, I got pregnant again.  My OB thought it might be twins.  Sadly, the pregnancy was a blighted ovum, for which I needed a D&C.
  • Two months after that, I got pregnant with S.  Anyone with three kids will tell you that the third one throws you completely for a loop.  They are absolutely correct.
  • Fortunately, at this time, my parents moved nearby.  I cannot stress enough how their arrival has significantly impacted my moods and mental health for the better.
And the Hubster (and the ILs) had the nerve to comment (behind my back, no less) about how angry I seem.  Gee, I wonder why?  Could it be because I've been a stay at home mom for almost six years with little opportunity to do much for myself?  Because whenever I try to go out for a girls' night I get shit?  Hmm?

(I apologize for the cranky, snarky attitude.  I blame it on the yeast die-off resulting from my current anti-Candida diet).

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Moving On

My neighbor and I held the swap that we organized.  To put it nicely, it was a bust.  Two families showed up; one because the wife's parents live nearby and told her about it, and the other to drop off some sporting equipment.  The upside is that my neighbor has a friend with a pickup truck who will bring our things to a local charity.

What struck me as strange about today's swap/donation was my reaction to getting rid of my things.  I got rid of all of the baby things that all three boys used as infants:  cradle swing, bouncy seat, baby carrier, bathtub, play gym, bottles, and boxes and bags of clothing from newborn to toddler sizes.  Of course as I'm typing this, I'm starting to feel sad, almost mournful, but for the most part I'm ready to move on.

I will miss my babies, but they're growing up to be such wonderful boys.  I'm looking forward to all of their new milestones as they grow.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


Yup, it's Wednesday.  The week is more than halfway over.  Yay!

Today was a bit of a trial.  And it's pretty much my fault.  I took all three boys to music today.  By the end of class, J and T were running almost full tilt around the room.  Fortunately it's a really large space, but still.  I felt like a cautionary tale.

After music, we stopped by M&D's to pick up the paper and the mail, then went home to have lunch.  I ended up crashing while S napped, so we didn't get outside until well after 5:00.  That is why it was a bit of a trial.  Oh, and while outside, after jumping on the neighbor's trampoline, J threw up.  Fortunately, it was on the grass and not on him or anyone else.  But yeah.

Tomorrow is Thursday, day four of vacation and day seven of the AC diet.  Getting closer...

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

A Really Good Day

Overall, that's what today was:  A really good day.

We started by getting to the Dinosaur Playground shortly before 10am.  A friend from the local MOMS Club happened to arrive at the same time, so even if my boys didn't want to play with her girls, at least I had someone I could chat with.  J and T were best buddies today, and J even showed T how to pee behind the rock wall (because, of course, he had to go as soon as we arrived).

11:00 Puppet show at the satellite library.  S and I were going to stay and watch, but he was far too energetic to sit for long.  So while he played with the toys (and the books, and the computer), I got to have a nice adult conversation with another friend.

After the puppet show, we went back to the playground because the guys had so much fun earlier.  Plus, as we left, we passed two more friends of mine who have boys J's age, so I wanted them to have time to play with friends.  We ended up staying another hour and a half.

Lunch, nap for S, and fun on the computer for J and T.

After music, I got dinner for the boys at the Duchess drive-thru.  Made myself some shrimp scampi, and while the guys were finishing dessert, the Hub came home.  Yay!

I hope the rest of this week goes as swimmingly!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Only Eleven More Days...

Last week I went to a naturopath.  For the most part, I'm pretty healthy.  However, as is always the way, there are some areas that need improvement.  One of them is Candida, which is (warning:  possible TMI) an overgrowth of yeast in the intestines.  To eliminate the yeast, I need to cut sugar and yeast (go figure!) from my diet for fifteen days. 

Today was day four.

Eleven more to go.  It might have been wiser to start this diet when I wasn't PMSing.

Oh well...

Friday, April 16, 2010

Health Is For the Rich

The confluence of the newly passed health care reform bill and my recent visit to a naturopathic doctor got me thinking:  there needs to be a middle ground between Western medicine, homeopathy, naturopathy, Eastern medicine, and everything else.

I am fortunate that my ND is considered a specialist by my health insurance.  That means that I only pay $30 for an office visit instead of the full cost (I don't know what she charges).  What is not covered by insurance are the many non-standard laboratory tests for food allergies and neurotransmitters, as well as the myriad supplements that are strongly recommended.  Herein lies the rub.

At my visit, I learned that I have candidiasis (a yeast infection in my digestive tract), and have several vitamin and mineral deficiencies.  The doctor recommended supplements designed to restore balance and improve my general health.  Some of the supplements are not available in local health food stores but the doctor sells from her office, so I purchased them during my visit.  Including my copay, I spent $90.

Today, I went to the nearest health food store to buy the remaining supplements as well as some snacks that I could enjoy while on an anti-candida diet.  One bottle of 150 multivitamins, one bottle of 60 refrigerated probiotic caplets, and one bottle of 60 Vitamin D gelcaps cost about $80.  I also purchased some snacks - two small bags of corn nuts, one bag of spelt sticks (I know...), one small bag of plaintain chips, and a tub of dried vegetable chips each cost $6.00.  Yes, you read correctly:  six dollars each for five snack items.

I believe that there is a place for naturopathy, homeopathy, and other alternative routes to healing.  But as the mother of three small children, spending one hundred dollars a month on supplements, in addition to purchasing organic meats and dairy products, gets cost prohibitive.  So what is the balance?  Where is the happy medium?  Where do we begin to fix the system? 

And what is the system?  Is it simply health care and all that it encompasses - supplements, prescription drugs, tinctures, herbs - or do we truly need to think global and fix everything from our food supply to the environment?  (that would be ideal, of course, but rather unlikely)

Friday, April 9, 2010

Caged Beast

This morning while J and T were at school, S and I took a ride.

First we went to DSW because I felt the need for shoes.  I was hoping to find some super cute yet practical sandals, and spent an hour prowling the aisles for the Ultimate Sandal.  Sadly, I did not find the US; however, I did find a really cute pair of ballet flat sneakers.

Then we went to Babies "R" Us in search of a crib tent.  I am not convinced that this is necessary, but ever since I took a video on my iphone of S climbing into his high chair (two days ago), Hubs is sure that an escape attempt is imminent.  But I digress.  I spent a few minutes searching the babyproofing section, then the bedding area.  As a last resort, I asked the Assistant Manager if they carried crib tents.  He sneered and said that they don't carry them any more.  I asked if it was because they are politically incorrect.  Apparently that comment opened the gates to Crazytown, because while the manager's words explained that crib tents have a design flaw in that they are not designed to keep children inside a crib, but to keep animals out, his subtext screamed "Hey, crazy lady, only bad mothers use crib tents." 

Um, okay dude. 

How many children did you stay home to raise?  Was it you who repeatedly got up during the night to put a toddler drunk on freedom back in his toddler bed?  Who installed safety gates on the bedroom doorway and the top of the stairs to keep the little one safe?  Who lost precious free time because your toddler would rather get out of bed and attempt to dislodge the doorway gate than nap?

Yeah, didn't think so.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Sand Painting

Mandala sand painting is a beautiful and sacred art practiced by Tibetan lamas.  On the first day, an outline of the mandala (a concentric diagram containing spiritual and ritual significance) is drawn on a wooden platform.  On the following days (or weeks), millions of grains of sand are precisely placed on the board.  Once completed, the painting is destroyed as a metaphor of the impermanence of life.

As a stay at home mom and housewife, I feel like my life is a series of sand paintings.  Once I complete a project - decluttering a countertop, washing all the dishes in the sink, putting away the last of the washed, dried, and folded laundry - that fleeting sense of accomplishment and closure is immediately undone with another pile of papers, sippy cups and snack bowls, and dirty pajamas.

Perhaps the universe is telling me to embrace the impermanence.  And keep my cleaning lady.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


There is a section of my brain that has been working nonstop to see what I should be when I grow up.  So many thoughts, so many questions.  What am I good at?  What do I enjoy doing?  What would I do if I could do anything?  What can I do to prepare myself to do that?  What opportunities exist now?  What is the next step?

Random related thoughts:
  • I love music
  • I love pop culture
  • I enjoy doing research
  • I love writing
  • I love sharing my (unsolicited) opinions
  • I love talking with other people
So, any suggestions?

Monday, April 5, 2010


There needs to be a better word.  Selfish has such negative connotations.  When was the last time you called somebody selfish and meant it in a positive way?  But, I digress...

I have been slowly realizing that I need to be a little more selfish.  And by that, I mean I need to exercise more self care.  Don't get me wrong; I love my children.  I adore them and am grateful that I am able to stay home and raise them.  However, I have also completely sacrificed my own person in the process.  I don't do nearly enough to replenish my coffers.  I haven't had a manicure or pedicure since July 2007.  The last time the Hub and I went away without the kids was in the fall of 2008.  Seriously.  It's high time I change that. 

I started by going out to dinner last Thursday with some girlfriends.  And I had a fantastic time!  Great food, great company, grown-up conversation.  I can't wait to do it again!

What's next?  Some more mundane things - involvement at the kids' schools and in town, but I do want to plan a nice romantic overnight for me and the Hub.  Hmm, where to go?  Planning this will be fun... :)

Saturday, April 3, 2010


Tonight I spent a few minutes cleaning up two places:  the fridge and my cabinet under the bathroom sink.  I know, very exciting. 

Martha Beck says that you can't change your exterior surroundings without changing your interior (or something like that; she's a professional writer and therefore much more eloquent than I).  So I figured I would give it a try and get rid of some of the clutter that's been overtaking my house (and therefore my mind) since we moved in.

While it's nice having a big, spacious fridge, infrequently used containers of food have a tendency to migrate to the way back where I can ignore them for weeks.  I needed to corral those outliers and send them to meet their maker.  As much as I hate wasting or throwing away food (and money), it felt good to get rid of things whose expiration date had passed.  Furry produce does nobody good.

After I put the kids to bed, I then tackled the under sink cabinet, another easily ignored crapository.  I found things I hadn't previously seen in years (and I mean that literally):  baby oil gel, gauze squares, empty contact lens cases, and assorted feminine hygiene products.

I have to say, I feel lighter.  Maybe Monday I'll work up the nerve to actually follow the FlyLady system and really declutter my home.  And my head.