Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Reality Check

I don’t know what’s gotten into me since I unloaded my bullying experience.  It feels like 95% of my motivation for writing evaporated as soon as I hit “Publish.” 

My kids will do or say something and I’ll think oh, that’s a great topic to write about, but instead of germinating and poking its head up through the ground, the seed remains dormant.  My mind has been rendered infertile, dammit, and I do not like it!

So I apologize to you, dear reader (all one of you), for two things:  first, for my recent lack of posts, and second, that it might take me some more time for the brain to return to its fertile, writing-piece-sustainable state.

While all of this is frustrating, though, it’s really not all that bad.

I talked to a mom yesterday who, almost two months ago, had a bilateral mastectomy and about thirty lymph nodes removed.  Tomorrow she starts chemotherapy, and will later also undergo radiation, to ensure that the stage three breast cancer she was diagnosed with is eradicated.  She has a six year old and a four year old.

Thankfully, her doctor says that after her treatment, there is a less than one percent chance that the cancer will return.  But in the meantime, she has a hellish road ahead of her.

I can’t imagine what she is going through not just physically and financially, but emotionally as well.  Just thinking about it makes my stomach tighten and my eyes well up. 

In the meantime, I am organizing helpers among my moms’ club – we’re going to do what we can to help this mom in need by running errands, hosting her kids for playdates, bring them to and from school, and providing gift certificates to Target and the grocery store.

So yeah, I have been rather frustrated that I can’t seem to break through this writer’s block, but my frustration is far preferable to the medical, financial, and emotional turmoil that my friend is dealing with.  I pray for her, and I thank God for the blessings that I have.

I know I’ll get my writing groove back.  I've got to.  I’m a full time mother to three little boys.  Just dealing with them, how can my mind not return to its normal, sarcastic state?

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