Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I triple-dog dare you...

Now, I love my husband very much. I love him and my kids more than anyone or anything else on this earth. That said, it really bugs the hell out of me when he makes sarcastic comments about me hiring a cleaning lady. It makes me want to issue the following challenge, which is also my current fantasy:

I wake up and get up when I'm good and ready to. I take a long, leisurely shower and shave my legs and my bikini area. I moisturize my entire body, get dressed, fully blowdry my hair, and put on make up.

I give the boys (including the hubster) big kisses and say goodbye. Hubster asks where I'm going, I say "out." Hubster asks when I'm coming back, I say "later." And I go out somewhere for the day. (I haven't worked out this part of my fantasy just yet)

While I'm gone, the hubster must accomplish the following:
  • Feed all three kids three nutritious meals (only one meal may be purchased outside the home - so if the older boys have bagels and chocolate milk for breakfast, they can't have fast food for lunch or dinner). This includes preparing cereal to the proper thickness and feeding it to the baby.
  • Ensure that nobody dehydrates - provide the older boys with appropriately diluted fruit juice throughout the day and prepare and feed formula to the baby (did I mention that I breastfeed and can't pump lest I overproduce?)
  • Give the kids snacks, but not too many so as to spoil their appetite.
  • Clean the entire house - kitchen, both bathrooms, all bedrooms, living, and dining rooms
  • Wash, dry, fold, and put away at least one load of laundry
  • I'll give him a pass on grocery shopping because he stays with the three boys while I have my "Mommy time" (hub's words, not mine) at the supermarket. Besides, if need be, I can always have Peapod deliver while he's home.

If this challenge is not successfully met, ... oh heck, even if it is, I still deserve acknowledgement that being a stay at home mom isn't an easy job. And that outsourcing the housecleaning does not make me lazy (that's a subject for another post entirely).

I love you honey, but the sarcastic comments about what I do all day need to stop.

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