Tuesday, March 23, 2010

You Are Not Your Child. Your Child Is Not You.

J's music teacher thinks there's something going on with him that needs to be evaluated.  That's never an easy thing to hear, that someone thinks there is something *up* with your child (I don't think something is wrong, but something is definitely going on).

I am slowly starting to realize that this is not a direct reflection of me as a person or a parent.  He is his own person, and makes many of his own choices without me, and a lot of them are good choices.  Realizing this, and accepting that there might be something more than deliberately poor choices at play was actually a kind of freedom.  I've thought long and hard and tried so many things in an effort to redirect his behavior, and felt like *I* failed when they didn't work.

So tomorrow, I take the first step to have him evaluated.  God help me, I need His strength for this one.

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