Don't get me wrong, I adore my boys and wouldn't trade them for anything, but as a full time, stay-at-home Mom (who is married to a man whose job requires frequent late nights), you don't get sick time, and personal time is precious and in desperately short supply.
If I go out to grab dinner with some friends, or play Bunco, or -gasp!- see a movie, it's a busy month for me.
It makes me feel like such a total loser when I check Facebook and read the status updates of other moms I know - moms who also have young kids - about how much fun last night was, or see their pictures of them out somewhere, together, having a great time. First, um, thanks for not inviting me, guys. Second, thanks for posting status updates like "those watermelon margaritas last night were SO yummy!" when you know that I will see it.
That evvvvvvvvverybody else is hanging out but me probably wouldn't bother me nearly as much as it does if I didn't spend nearly every waking moment with at least one of my kids.
But how to fix that?
Do I get a full time job, if I can find one, so I can spend my take-home pay on day care? Do I become a first year teacher in an urban school and adjust to a new career in a highly challenging environment with students who may not be adequately prepared to learn that requires me to bring work home and spend my paycheck on supplies, on top of paying for day care?
I would love to find a part time job, but outside of retail, what part time jobs exist?
I enjoy writing, but I've never done it for pay. How does one "break into" writing at the age of forty? (hint, hint) And if I do find a paid writing job, will it be enough to make it worth my while? Will I be able to meet deadlines while also being there for my kids when they need me to help them with their homework, shuttle them to activities, and remain active in the PTA?
I need balance. And I don't know how to find it.
Does anybody have any suggestions?