Sunday, July 11, 2010

Tug of War

I got a call yesterday from Hub's aunt.  We'll call her A.  She called to say hi, see how we're doing, and said several times that she's reaching out in an effort to maintain family bonds (I can't remember the exact phrase she used, but it was basically her way of saying "hey - don't forget about me here!").

Talk about an awkward phone call.  I'm pretty sure it was a fishing expedition, wanting to know when we were next having a family get together.  I last saw her when she came to our house for Christmas.  That was an interesting holiday - MIL later told me that she was ready to cut her off because she used the phrase "blow job" in company of the boys.  Some background:
A is MIL's younger sister.  She used to model for a famous designer back in the 60s and 70s.  She was married to a designer who worked for said famous person, but shortly before Hub and I married they divorced (the ex is gay).  She lived fast and hard, and has some very wealthy friends, so she's never really had to work a "real" job or pay for things like vacations, clothing, or jewelry.  I don't know the specifics, but I suspect that when they were in their 20s and 30s, MIL was seriously jealous that her sister got by pretty much entirely on her looks.  Over the past ten years, they've gone from estranged to working it out to getting along and full circle back to estranged.  When J was born, MIL told me not to invite A to J's baptism (they were estranged at the time).  I told her then that what was between MIL and A had nothing to do with me, that A was family and as far as I was concerned she was welcome. 
Well, yesterday's call really got my feathers ruffled.  I told Hubster that the phone call was extremely awkward, that it puts me in between his mother and his aunt, and that I need to know whether or not he wants A at our family events.  I reminded him that A also put my aunt in an extremely awkward position by asking her point blank what was going on for Christmas (knowing that we host).  He said that he is fine with her being invited to our family events.

So, my question is this:  do I call her back and invite her, or let Hubster do it?  My gut says his aunt, his call, but I think you know me well enough by now to know that I had to hash this out on the Interwebz.  Thanks for humoring me.

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